Jiali is off the rack!
Taking a break at the chioest hotel
Hello from Park Royal Pickering.
Today is Junrong and my 8th paktor anniversary and we are cooped in the hotel room because he has not cleared 14 days after his second jab.
I decided to do up this blog post because i really miss blogging and I want to take this opportunity to do something I never find time to do at home.
I looked back at all the drafts in this blogger account and I realised that I have not completed soooo many drafts on the various topics I was writing halfway about - parenthood, my birth story, finland and the list goes on. I guess I must have been someone who is too distracted by the ongoing things happening in my life, living in the now and future.
So, I have been going to visit a therapist.
I have kept it very low profile but I never intend to hide it from anyone. I openly share about it with my secretary, some of my agents, my boss, my parents and of course some friends whom I am in contact with.
In essence, I visited her because I want to further improve all the relationships I have in my life, not that they are bad. But, after so many years of working, I realized that my responsibilities might have changed me inside out and something has been missing in me since I don't know when. I simply wanted to get in touch with a deeper self through her.
The sessions were super eye-opening.
I got to understand that innately, I don't love myself and have deemed myself as an unimportant person who does not need love. It was a very interesting discovery because I never thought of myself that way or rather I do not usually have time to think for myself. It was a very crucial discovery because she told me if I don't know how to love myself, how do i love the people around me well. Trueeeee.
I also got to know that my body works constantly on a fight or flight instinct. My mind takes over my heart at almost every instance so that my emotions are protected at all times. My environment and situations have polished this survivor reflex very well as a defense mechanism. The sessions were good because they have helped me unclog my emotions and let them flow in a safe setting.
The therapist also helped me see a clearer picture of myself in my childhood and teenage years and even resurfaced some unhappy memories that I have completely forgotten during my younger days. I was super shocked at this unearthed memory the most because even though it was not a traumatic memory, it was one that I felt sad about for a long time. I now finally believe that one can really choose to forget and bury an unhappy memory deliberately. It was important for me to unforget it because if I keep doing it subconsciously, I might make it habitual and dementia will come looking for me sooner than I want.
Finally, I also managed to find out from deep down at the core of my heart, which were the 2 moments/periods in my life that I was at my happiest. I flashbacked and now I know what I really want my financial freedom years to be like.
Off we go for a jog now!
IG highlights on: https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE3ODk1OTA0MDMzODExNTc2?story_media_id=2656057794643310366_1597764&utm_medium=copy_link
The waiting game
I'd have hoped that I didn't have time to write this post at all but my baby girl is still taking her time to grow comfortably and adequately in her premium lounge inside my tummy. As long as she comes out healthy, I shall be patient!
I can't help but I really need to express myself on this space of mine that I MISS WORKING!!!!!!
I'm referring to meeting my wealth managers face to face for strategies talks, planning 1-2 weeks ahead to pack my calendar with meaningful meetings and actively servicing and planning for my clients face to face as well.
I'd say that the coincidence of the virus and my final month of the last trimester is quite timely. I've been staying home for 1 full month preparing for Aurora's arrival since the 2nd week of March and it was just announced yesterday that all citizens are to stay home for 1 full month starting from next week. As Aurora can be arriving anytime these few days, this means that my confinement will fall almost perfectly within this 1 month of lock down.
As much as I am yearning daily to leave the house to eat good food at nice restaurants and go out for walks or shopping, it is really a very crucial time for all of us to observe responsible behavior to stay home for the safety of ourselves, our loved ones and my baby girl.
Honestly, this is the very first time I can remember that I have stayed home for 1 full month. While it sounds very enjoyable, this kind of lifestyle is definitely not for me, even though once a week sounds perfecto! The greatest joy that I can think of is to be able to zrx everyday without any stress. I online-shopped a lot for baby essentials and home necessities. I get to decide and cook what I want to eat every day. I watch a few episodes of shows daily as well. Life is in fact very stress-free. But, 1 month of this is very very overkill for me.
Another reason why I can't wait to deliver Aurora is because of the full blown acne outbreak that I am experiencing in the last month of pregnancy. I've never had serious acne problems in my entire life but this explosion of hormones really gave me a shock to how my body can be disfigured in a matter of few weeks. I swear i've done my best to make it go away by showering multiple times a day, adjusting to cleaner diet, ensuring that the temperature at home is optimal and applying antiseptic and moisturizing cream on the affect areas. None of these works.
When are you coming out my baobei girl girl? Mummy cannot wait to see you and have my life changed 360 degrees for you!
Last few days of "freedom"! Lai ba!
Aurora 陈梦宁
HI!
I started writing this at week 31. Time flies.
Before time disappears at the speed of light when she arrives, I just wish to pen down and share some experiences, feelings, appreciations, blessings and sufferings I've been through this pregnancy.
First trimester.
Like what every experienced preggie would say, it's the worst part of the pregnancy.
Mummies are indeed the most noble people in the world. My first sacrifice came when I learnt that I cannot eat sashimi, drink multiple cups of coffee and tea daily and consume soft-boiled eggs and medium rare steak. Luckily, I got over it pretty fast. Occasionally, I indulge by bringing Junrong to Japanese restaurants to watch him eat aburi sushi and shiok maki. Haha. Usually, I'll insist to pay to reward my baby's papa for his hard work going for many appointments per week.
The second month of my first trimester coincided with a pre-booked vacation to Taipei. I was absolutely looking forward to the trip because I wanted to just eat all my favourite Taiwan food and enjoy a getaway from being my usual workaholic self. I totally did not expect the trip to be a total disaster for me. We went for 6 days without planning any itinerary because we simply want to just explore with no plans. I woke up daily in Taipei with morning sickness and all 6 days, I had zero appetite. I did not crave for any food at all and was experiencing extreme food aversion. Everyday was just 自然醒 (zrx), hunt for food, return to hotel for nap and hunt for food again before returning to hotel for movie night. As much as it sounds shiok, it was nowhere close to shiok for me at all. Sigh.
Thank goodness for the hubby for being so accommodating and understanding. He has always been pretty easy-going but I couldn't help feeling bad towards 'spoiling' his holiday with all the food aversion and lack of mood to do anything due to my fatigue. That was an unforgettable 6th anniversary with our little rice inside me.
Back in Singapore, on the first 3 months, I must not go hungry. Gagging in public and especially in front of clients and colleagues always left me feeling sorry and embarrassed. I feel nauseous every single morning. So before the hunger kicks in, I always have to wake up earlier to prepare our breakfast.
On the final day of my first trimester, we finally announced the pregnancy to our parents and family members. Prior to that, I suffered from 3 months of depression and fatigue as we didn't know we can share the news with our parents before first trimester ends. Everyday, I had to deal with keeping quiet about this good news and concealing my morning sickness symptoms from everyone. Sometimes, I had to postpone my appointments as I felt lightheaded and nausea very often.
Post announcement days were the happiest as my parents and in laws showered me with loads of concern and birds nest. My colleagues and clients were also very understanding towards my long toilet breaks and late-coming when I had to ease myself and readjust my state of mind after random sporadic vomiting at home and at public toilets.
Continuing this post at week 34, going 35 in 3 days.
The second trimester was ushered in with the peak of my morning sickness where I puked multiple times everyday and merlioned my dinner every single night without fail for 2 weeks! It was a waste of money and time to take dinner during these 2 weeks during the 14th to 15th week. Lol. My tip to all fathers-to-be and mothers-to-be, don't waste too much money "pampering" yourself with yummy expensive food during the first 16 weeks of pregnancy. They may all come out and go to waste unless you are those lucky ones who don't experience morning sickness!
I was 99% intolerant of taking spicy food prior to having our baby girl. During the pregnancy, I craved for katong laksa, mild spicy garlic aglio olio and otah. I believe my little girl is going to come out as a 小辣妹. haha.
Coincidentally and thankfully, my 2nd trimester also fell on the final quarter of 2019 when Junrong finally got transferred to my team. Without him, I wouldn't have promoted to EFSM in 2020. We worked so so hard to fight for his Gold Award and RCC, as well as my promotion. I'm also very blessed that some of my WMs fought extra hard in the final month of 2019, considering my promotion in their minds. We are all really thankful to our clients who trusted our advice and took action to progress in the building of their financial portfolio in November and December too.
At the end of my second trimester, we also decided on her Chinese name on my birthday! 陈梦宁! 梦想的梦,安宁的宁. We hope that our baby girl gets to chase her dreams and live a very fulfilling and meaningful life. 对于有意义的梦想,要有宁死不屈的精神! When she retires, we hope for her life to be filled with bliss, peace and contentment. This name is a gift from papa and mama to you, 梦宁!
Not to forget, I received a gorgeous push present from the hubby too. 谢谢老公! <3
Novus, our new organization was newly set up. As a senior manager, I was heavily involved in many organizational events and new business models. Things went well in 2020. The work engine of the team started on the right note as all my WMs eased into their respective business models and into their new environment. I'm very certain that ZSA will work together with one another as a strong community with positive vibes and momentum while I retreat to rest and prepare myself mentally and physically for 梦宁's arrival.
Just last month, we finally got down to deciding her English name! The hubby opposed to this name for the longest time due to its difficult pronunciation. Finally, a wedding dinner made him give in. We have decided to name her after the Northern Lights, Aurora Chen. Junrong loves playing with snow and as a couple we have traveled to icy cold countries like Norway, Iceland and Finland to enjoy/self-torture in the cold and most importantly to catch aurora borealis!
An aurora is a luminous phenomenum, a natural light display in the Earth's sky, when the charged particles that come from the sun hit the atoms and molecules of Earth's atmosphere, exciting those atoms to give off light. The lights can come in so many beautiful colours and to be able to see it, one has to find a clear cloudless sky with no lights pollution. As such, the Aurora Borealis is usually seen in skies filled with countless stars and it never fails to take our breaths away! This name is another gift to her, as we hope that she is the most beautiful light of all lights, so strong but breathtaking.
As much as I'm very in love with the meaning and reason behind this name, I'm still practising the pronunciation everyday while forcing the hubby to practise it as well.
Today is the first week that I work from home and this week began with us unpacking the nappies and placing them into the right drawers, as well as unboxing all the deliveries from Shopee like baby nail file, wet tissues, oral wipes, breast pump. Just yesterday night I placed order for more baby items like the legendary Tula baby carrier and other necessities like the baby camera, more stretchmark cream, pacifier and bottle warmer. I still have more errands to run though I cannot wait for her arrival in 3 to 6 weeks' time.
Today also marks the 2nd day that I cooked from home. It's very very torturous to stay home for me! 2nd day only leh!! Yet at the same time I cannot fit into a lot of my clothes, so it's also very troublesome to leave house as I need to dig for clothes to wear. The belly is also well-packed and tight now, so my movements are all very restricted and snail-like. I can't even sleep properly at night.
Back to my stay home life tomrorow! Shall plan some meaningful home activities.
I will probably update again after her arrival when I have more insights on parenthood!
Yilifan
Good afternoon all.
I'm happy to finally revive all my 3 blogs.
Today, I want to write a mini note to my daughter here.
My dearest precious yilifan,
Mummy just woke up from a bad dream about you last night. In fact, it wasn't the first time. Thankfully, every time I wake up, your papa is always by my side, telling me all of these nightmares are not real. I guess all along my confidence level in everything I do is decent, but when it comes to this new arena of pregnancy and parenting, i'm absolutely clueless and fearful. That explains all my insecurities and dreams.
But, my dear baby, don't worry. Mummy is strong. In fact, all mummies are strong for their children. It's evident from all my clients, my friends, my colleagues, strangers whom I've seen on air planes managing their kids, and of course not forgetting your grandmothers. I really salute their grit and insane capacity to teach us and take care of us till we are all grown up, get married and now bearing new lives.
I have thought through about some of the important values that we hope to teach you to grow up with.
Love - I love you
Filial Piety - Through actions!
Gratitude - Thank you
Integrity - Being ethical and honest
Responsibility - Commitment
Courage - Stand up for your cause
Growth mindset - Embracing improvement for all your life
Community - Recognize how teamwork is important
Tenacity - Resilience, never give up easily, troubleshoot problems and move on
Courtesy - Respecting others. Mummy and papa will show it to you first
Kindness - Helpful towards others, bring more smiles to the people around you wherever you are
Optimism - March towards the bright side of situations
Self respect - Saying No to and taking No from others
Forgiveness - Let it go with follow up action to solve the problem
I understand that it's not going to be easy. Not just because of the fact that mummy and papa don't have experience, it's also because we will need to show you tough love sometimes. Just remember, if one day you ever feel that mummy doesn't love you anymore, it's not real. Love comes in all forms, more often pleasant but sometimes not. Everything we do for you, to you is because we love you.
Mummy is enjoying myself everyday watching you move, suck your thumb, curl up comfortably in my womb through the ultrasound videos papa religiously take at our gynae consultations. Mummy is also enjoying all the flutter kicks, knowing that you are growing inside me healthily everyday. Please continue to grow stronger and give me more kicks! Also, i've never been so satisfied seeing my belly grow bigger and bigger everyday.
I'm just so touched everything has gone through very smoothly in the past 5 months.
Papa and I are very excited to see you in another 5 months' time!
Mummy will continue to give you your daily sayangs everyday and papa will continue to give you your nightly kisses that you enjoy every night.
We love you, baobei.



