Jiali is off the rack!

I shall keep this space filled with more thoughts than pictures.

Simply because it's harder and takes longer to upload photos and videos compared to my favourite instagram. 

So my family finally married off my sister to the guy whom she loves most and treats her the best.

There have been many tests and obstacles between the both of them and seriously nothing can tear them apart because the love that they have for each other is stronger! 

Jiali has always been a girl with strong determination and a heart of gold. She has been through a lot of challenges in her life and I'm super proud of the girl that she has become. She is filial to our parents in her own genuine ways. She is a very capable and admirable play group teacher who has taught me a lot in my relatively new journey in parenthood. I also salute her for her tenacity to lose 2 inches around her waist in just 1.5 months, from following the diet and workout plan which I designed for her. She followed through till the final day before her big day! She was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. <3

Kenny has always been very black. Hahaha. I always like to make fun of his skin tone and his size (with zero ill intentions). He has always been looking after the family, especially our parents and Jiali, very well. With a new addition to the family in 2020, he continues to extend his love for his niece-in-law whom he treats as his daughter. Welcome to being the newest freshest addition to the Tan family officially and we really look forward to create more long-lasting, happy and meaningful memories together. I sincerely wish that both of you look after each other to your best ability now that you have formed your own little family. Family is forever and sometimes even though I say harsh things to both of you, I am always practising tough love to help my most precious sister and brother. 

祝你们：

百年好合

白头偕老

子孙满堂

幸福快乐 

Let's continue to stay close-knitted and united as a family till we are grey and old, till our children are married and be the best role models to the next generations. I love you my 妹妹 and 妹夫!

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Taking a break at the chioest hotel

Hello from Park Royal Pickering.

Today is Junrong and my 8th paktor anniversary and we are cooped in the hotel room because he has not cleared 14 days after his second jab. 

I decided to do up this blog post because i really miss blogging and I want to take this opportunity to do something I never find time to do at home. 

I looked back at all the drafts in this blogger account and I realised that I have not completed soooo many drafts on the various topics I was writing halfway about - parenthood, my birth story, finland and the list goes on. I guess I must have been someone who is too distracted by the ongoing things happening in my life, living in the now and future. 

So, I have been going to visit a therapist. 

I have kept it very low profile but I never intend to hide it from anyone. I openly share about it with my secretary, some of my agents, my boss, my parents and of course some friends whom I am in contact with. 

In essence, I visited her because I want to further improve all the relationships I have in my life, not that they are bad. But, after so many years of working, I realized that my responsibilities might have changed me inside out and something has been missing in me since I don't know when. I simply wanted to get in touch with a deeper self through her. 

The sessions were super eye-opening. 

I got to understand that innately, I don't love myself and have deemed myself as an unimportant person who does not need love. It was a very interesting discovery because I never thought of myself that way or rather I do not usually have time to think for myself. It was a very crucial discovery because she told me if I don't know how to love myself, how do i love the people around me well. Trueeeee. 

I also got to know that my body works constantly on a fight or flight instinct. My mind takes over my heart at almost every instance so that my emotions are protected at all times. My environment and situations have polished this survivor reflex very well as a defense mechanism. The sessions were good because they have helped me unclog my emotions and let them flow in a safe setting.

The therapist also helped me see a clearer picture of myself in my childhood and teenage years and even resurfaced some unhappy memories that I have completely forgotten during my younger days. I was super shocked at this unearthed memory the most because even though it was not a traumatic memory, it was one that I felt sad about for a long time. I now finally believe that one can really choose to forget and bury an unhappy memory deliberately. It was important for me to unforget it because if I keep doing it subconsciously, I might make it habitual and dementia will come looking for me sooner than I want. 

Finally, I also managed to find out from deep down at the core of my heart, which were the 2 moments/periods in my life that I was at my happiest. I flashbacked and now I know what I really want my financial freedom years to be like. 

Off we go for a jog now!

IG highlights on: https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE3ODk1OTA0MDMzODExNTc2?story_media_id=2656057794643310366_1597764&utm_medium=copy_link

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